just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
