weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
