I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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