She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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