found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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