I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
