you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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