We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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