was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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