i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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