We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
