i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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