Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
