"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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