So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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