I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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