Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
