The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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