i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude i'm inner monologue high
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There r osticjed everywhere
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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