I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
