no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
