so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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