I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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