You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
