When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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