that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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