I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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