i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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