She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize