And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We are two peas in an std pod
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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