I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
