please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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