how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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