What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
