Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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