we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
