Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
