Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
