Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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