One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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