there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
