they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
