Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
