NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
my nose is crying tears of wow.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize