You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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