Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
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