I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
