In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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