Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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