kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
