Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
