I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
