I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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