he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
