Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think my vagina is haunted
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
