She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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