What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
