her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
