I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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