We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
