17 year olds will be the death of me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I enjoy the company of your penis
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
