..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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