It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
