My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
